Tonight my husband and I had an appointment at church for our picture for the new church directory. I went kicking and screaming. Not really but I really dislike having my picture taken. This was the first picture we’ve had taken without our children. The church directory always showed the old retired folks alone with no kids. They always look like 50th wedding anniversary pictures. Were we part of that club now? We’re not that old or are we?
The photographer asked when the last time the two of us had our picture taken together. I said when we got married. “When was that?” He asked. I replied 1983. We told him that we had a couple of family pictures taken with our kids but never just the two of us. He proceeded to set us up for the pictures having us move into various poses and then finally taking an individual picture of each of us. I said that we really didn’t need separate pictures but he took them anyway.
After the pictures we went to the sales table to decide which picture we would like for our church directory. We sat down and went through the process of choosing our photo much like choosing a lens for your eyeglasses. “Do you like the photo on the left or the right better?” Then they would eliminate the one we didn’t like and add another to choose between. Once again “Do you like the photo on the left or the right better?” Once we had narrowed the photos down to the one we wanted for the church directory and our free 8 x 10 then it was on to the individual photos.
I said “We really don’t need to choose an individual photo because we don’t need any individual pictures for any reason.”
Then my husband said “I think we should look at them because you never know when you need one and we don’t have any.”
I looked at him and said “What in the world would we need individual pictures for?
He said “If I die then you will have a picture for the obituary and you won’t have to look for one.”
“Are you kidding me?”
He said “You never know when you might need a photo”.
“What else would you need an individual photo for?” I asked.
“Maybe if you decided to run for Congress”
I had decided before we ever arrived that we would just get the complimentary photo and that would be it. Suddenly I was sitting next to a sentimental fool who not only wanted pictures of the two of us but individual ones as well. This is so unlike him.
“Maybe our kids and parents would like a nice picture of the two of us.” He said.
“Okay” I relented and said that we could get six 5×7’s: one picture for his parents, my parents and one for each of our four kids.
“What about the individual photos?”
I said “I don’t think we need any.”
“We really should consider getting some wallet size pictures of each of us”
I could tell that this was not a battle I was going to win so we ordered the smallest number of wallets we could, nine.
What am I going to do with nine wallet size pictures of myself or him for that matter? I guess I will file them away with our wills for our future obituary pictures. Perhaps it’s time for our funeral planning and picking out our burial plots.
Suddenly after one hour of time I felt decades older. 50 is the new 80, Right? I thought it was the other way around.