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People Can Be So Cruel

28 Mar

Tonight my husband treated me to a movie to ward off those Sunday Night Blues. He took me to see the movie The King’s Speech.

I loved the movie but came away feeling unsettled. I wondered after hearing the story of the king if I have inflicted pain on another’s life that has affected them already in their life or will continue to affect them in a harmful way.

It made me search myself for words or actions directed at others than may have caused them the kind of pain the king dealt with his entire life.

As a wife, mother, daughter,sister, teacher and friend the opportunities have been many to say or do the wrong thing or been interpreted in the wrong way. I hope that hasn’t been the case. I’ve tried to be kind and consider the weight of my words and actions.

When my kids were in school and would come home telling stories of cruel acts of others to others I couldn’t help but repeat the same words over and over to them. Be kind! Be kind! Be kind!

As adults my kids still relate stories to me of cruel acts that happened while in school. As a teacher I had parents talk to me about their child being teased or picked on at school or on the playground.

All I could do was to talk to students and their parents in hopes of things becoming better but often all it did was make things worse and they became more creative in their acts.

My husband as chairman of the school board has received phone calls from parents and grandparents over the past couple of years about teasing and bullying of students. Times haven’t changed much but with Facebook, texting and cellphones it seems things travel faster and farther than ever before.

If only all would heed the words…Be kind to all, the world would be a better place.

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21 responses to “People Can Be So Cruel

  1. Carol Ann Hoel

    March 28, 2011 at 6:09 am

    You are right, Jeanne. People can be very cruel, and children must learn to be kind. Being cruel seems to come naturally. It seems that the danger in schools has escalated in recent years. Blessings to you, Jeanne…

     
  2. flyinggma

    March 28, 2011 at 6:49 am

    I read somewhere in the past year a little acrostic for thinking before you speak and it went something like this:
    Are my words?
    T-Truthful
    H-Helpful not hurtful
    I-inspiring not insulting
    N-Necessary
    K-Kind

    If not, I should probably keep them to myself.

     
  3. nrhatch

    March 28, 2011 at 11:09 am

    Some people only feel “bigger” by making others “smaller.”

    Part of the problem is that competition rather than cooperation is encouraged . . . even by parents.

    I love the Dalai Lama’s comments on “Why be kind?” If you’re interested:

    http://nrhatch.wordpress.com/2011/02/27/loving-kindness-compassion/

     
    • flyinggma

      March 28, 2011 at 6:39 pm

      I agree some people only feel “bigger” by making others “smaller”. What motivation does an adult have that causes them to treat a child unkindly like the nanny in the “The King’s Speech”?

       
      • nrhatch

        March 28, 2011 at 8:44 pm

        I haven’t seen the movie, but probably because the nanny, occupying an “inferior” role to the king, wanted to feel superior to her charge.

        The ego loves to compare itself with others to feel better about itself.

         
      • flyinggma

        March 28, 2011 at 9:24 pm

        I imagine you are correct but she didn’t treat the king’s brother in the same manner.

         
  4. 1959duke

    March 28, 2011 at 12:15 pm

    We are all cruel to others at one time or another.

     
    • flyinggma

      March 28, 2011 at 6:44 pm

      I know but realizing the lifetime effects of some cruelty makes me want to be a better person and think before speaking or acting in a cruel way.

       
  5. planejaner

    March 28, 2011 at 12:16 pm

    we do have a culture of mean, and it seems, one with no consequences…we have lost touch with our innate goodness and gentility…

    it’s a shame…but this culture of mean is everywhere–from blogs which elevate “fail” to all the texting and sexting–there’s nothing sacred and set apart any longer.

    so much of what we see, hear, look at–upholds the “mean”–it’s a real choice and struggle to disengage from this…

    blessings, jeanne…
    jane

     
  6. belleofthecarnival

    March 28, 2011 at 12:37 pm

    People can be cruel and it’s important to teach our kids the importance of respect and kindnesss to others. I dread the moment my children develop the skillss to go online. I hate the thought of texting and facebook. As parents in this digital world we have to be more vigilant of our children and hope that they are not the bully or being bullied…

     
    • flyinggma

      March 28, 2011 at 6:53 pm

      I’ve watched the past few years of the development of Facebook and social networks and how quickly information is passed from one to another whether true or not among pre-teen, teens, young adults without regard to the damage they are doing.

       
  7. Scott Collingwood

    March 29, 2011 at 11:39 am

    I appreciated your kind comments on my photo blog, thank you 🙂

     
    • flyinggma

      March 29, 2011 at 12:31 pm

      You’re welcome Scott. I enjoyed checking out your blog.

       
  8. Booksphotographsandartwork

    March 29, 2011 at 11:40 am

    The last time I took my grandson to the playground I had a meltdown because of how awful the kids were acting. I won’t be going back. The one thing I have always taught my children was to be nice, to think how it would feel before you do something. My brother was recently in line somewhere with his child and a friend. Another child in line with their mom kept bothering the friend. Finally my brother had to address the issue. You may not agree with what he did but it worked. Remember now the mother was standing right there the entire time and did nothing until my brother said to the friend, how about you knock the crap out of the little boy while I knock the crap out of his mom. It worked. The mom grabbed her child and left. My brother said he was willing to pay the jail fine for that. I would have loved to have been there to see that!

     
    • flyinggma

      March 29, 2011 at 12:33 pm

      Some parents are oblivious to their children’s behavior. I always taught my children to be kind. I’m not saying that they always were but at least they had some instruction in that area.

       
  9. sunshineinlondon

    March 29, 2011 at 1:54 pm

    Yes, that part of The King’s Speech made me feel sad too, Jeanne – how neglected and overlooked he was by his family, and how cruel his father was to him.
    I was hugely moved by the movie.
    Sunshine xx

     
    • flyinggma

      March 29, 2011 at 2:17 pm

      I was moved as well by that potionof the movie. It makes my heart hurt when others are treated poorly especially children.

       
  10. 36x37

    March 29, 2011 at 6:54 pm

    It’s always clear to me, Jeanne, that you live what you preach. Your kindness always comes through in your words. And it’s a very good mantra you have. Kindness is far mightier than cruelty, it’s just not as easy to notice.

     
  11. flyinggma

    March 29, 2011 at 11:04 pm

    Thanks for the kind words Maura. If only we could teach our children about the lasting hurt that unkind words and actions can cause others. We also need to be reminded as adults of the same.

     
  12. Todd Pack

    March 30, 2011 at 7:54 am

    I think it’s great that people are finally paying attention to bullying. I never understood why grownups just accepted it.

     
  13. flyinggma

    March 30, 2011 at 9:13 am

    I think too many people unfortunately thought “kids will be kids”

     

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